Some miracle from above…

 

And sometimes there CAN be life-changing interventions and seemingly miraculous results.

 

But sometimes we just have to do the work.

 

My own journey showed me this.

 

As a transformational therapist, I see miraculous and life-changing results almost every day – especially with kids and young people (under 30), and the ‘lighter’ stuff, such as phobias and performance-related issues.

 

I have also experienced a few unexpected miracles of my own during the journey, which I am deeply grateful for and think back on as gifts from God, quite literally!

 

However, there are other areas that haven’t shifted so quickly or easily.

 

I still find myself tending towards depression. It’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life and whilst most people who meet me see me as ‘happy and high energy’, those who know me WELL know that I really battle this ‘demon’ – even to this day.

 

Which brings me to the importance of these 4 daily steps towards your own mental health and emotional freedom:

 

 

My mind (like most!) has been thinking in a consistent and specific (in my case, negative) way for over 50 years. That’s my habit. My neural pathway. My ‘automatic’ default.

 

And it’s well-ingrained as I have an over-active ‘monkey-mind’.

AND a very powerful inner critic.

 

My journey of healing began when I started to notice my thoughts.

 

“Take Captive Every Thought”
2 Corinthians 10:5

 

It’s a long story, but suffice to say, one day a friend pointed out what I was saying (incessantly, to quote her!).

 

At first I was upset and defensive because I didn’t see it. Nor did I believe it!

 

Then when I realised that – if it was true – it would be really damaging me and creating many of my problems, I asked her to point it out every time I did it so I would see it for myself.

 

She did. I was horrified!

 

Then slowly, I began to see it for myself.

 

 

In order to get a hold of this thing… this weaving, darting, disappearing, ephemeral ‘thing’… I decided to count every time I noticed that kind of thought.

 

Literally!

 

To begin with, even though I probably only noticed a small percentage of them, it was still horrifyingly frequent.

 

I’ll never forget it. One day I was sitting in a class and I tallied every negative thought that I ‘caught’.

 

I made a line on a sheet of paper for each one. Crossed them out at 5, and kept going…

 

Remember this? ||||

 

By the end of the hour-long class (marine engine mechanics – which I never did understand a single word of!), I had over 87 checks. That’s more than 1 negative thought every minute!

 

OCD?  Just a tad!!

 

No wonder I wasn’t happy.

 

 

As I became aware of the FREQENCY, I then began writing down the different thoughts.

 

 

When I wrote them down, I realised that there were actually only 8 – 10 thoughts.

 

But, because I was thinking the same ones over and over (87 times in an hour to be exact!), it seemed as if it I was being constantly bombarded by these negative thoughts.

 

But actually it was just a LOOP of the same thoughts. Over and over and over.

 

They were ruling my emotions and my experience of life, but were they really true?

 

Because I’d never been aware of them, and therefore never questioned them, they simply were how I experienced myself and my life.

 

I believed them. To me, they were facts that made me feel terrible – about myself and about life.

 

 

 

I would substitute the thought with something more HELPFUL.

 

It’s so simple. But it’s NOT easy.

 

In fact, it was – certainly at the beginning – a full time job. And it has taken me YEARS!  Even now, some days are easier than others.

 

So RTT has removed the unconscious self-loathing. I no longer have that deeply painful and destructive hatred for myself – so deep that nothing else in the world seemed to matter.

 

Now I cohabitate with myself in a sort of peaceful acceptance. It’s not quite ‘true love’ yet, but it’s light-years ahead of where it used to be.

 

And I’m working on it! 

 

So now, it’s just about re-wiring the brain.

Every day.

Little by little.

 

Re-training the neural pathways through repetition.

 

Learning to accept myself.

Being kind to myself.

Allowing space for love to enter…

 

I share this because sometimes people think that therapists have it all together. The truth is, that many of us have become therapists through our own struggles; our own search for answers.

 

Certainly that’s true in my own case.

 

As long as we’re evolving, growing, improving, bringing value and love into the world…

 

It’s all about the direction of travel, rather than the destination. At least, that’s the more helpful thought I choose for myself today!

 

Let me know in the comments:

 

What is your worst thought?

What’s a better thought you can choose today?